Younus: MY SPACE

MONDAY, MAY 03, 2010

People....thou are God

I know I know! I've been away too long. And that's because, I found an easier way to express - well... I speak out :-)!

Jokes apart, the following is a topic that's been in my mind for quite some time, and (wonder of wonders), a pet peeve, something which PA has been nagging all along since....hmmm....hmmm...for almost two years now! Auuunnnnd the topic is - I don't hang out with people. I don't call up people. I don't interact with people. Given a book (and a laptop with Internet), I prefer to be by myself. Why? Given this soul-searching nature of the question, I had to dug into my depths of my memory to come up with a suitable explanation. I was such friendly soul in the past. But now, I've become such a notoriously selective person, so much that I prefer being alone rather than being with people who are a pain to be with. It's not that I don't hang out with friends. It's just that.... I like being alone. But then again, I like being alone. To the point of secluding myself. So..... what made me such an introvert? PA, this post is for you (and all those people who've foolishly ventured out to pop this question to me), and the whole world is out to witness my explanation....and my wrath.

Expl 1: I was nerd. A geek. During my college days, my geekiness (and gawkiness) was predominant in the way I dressed (ack....was it me?), spoke, and I guess, every aspect of my character. And I only came to know of this 'little thing' when the boyfriend of my friend (who's no longer a friend) revealed this truly revealing thought- "She is such a specimen." Ahem....ladies and gentlemen (I hope), that 'she' is none other than yours truly and imagine the distress she felt when she was addressed a specimen! (Not good for her image at all!). And to think that I actually cried over it! All names under the sun....to me!

Expl 2: Thanks to my.... err...'image', I was shunned by most of my collegians. Hence, the uppermost feeling during those days was a craving for acceptance. By peers. By friends. But most were too smart for their age: here I was, the loner who dressed badly. Imagine what would happen to your image if you hang out with me, this....this geeky specimen (hah!). The implications were too scary to imagine....... I guess. Between a geek and your friends, whom would you choose? Geek lost round 2 , and was condemned to remain alone for the rest of her term.

Expl 3: Public image is a very powerful thing. And more than the individual, this image is more or less fueled by the society, by people talking behind your back. And the more 'powerful' and 'influential' they are, the more you are screwed! Even if I was a friendly albeit badly dressed, geeky soul, people were simply not ready to 'invest' their time, energy and emotion in me because......I was simply not worth it. Most of the times, I was excluded out of that 'elite' group of people invited to a party, get-together, a trek simply because I wasn't accepted by the rule-makers of that group. Or somebody had an axe to grind with me. And even though I was apparently a your friendly neighborhood girl to hang out with alone, the helpful classmate who lends her notes to you, the kind girl who listens to your cribs about life (and boys), I .....was not 'classy' enough to be invited to your party.

I learnt one of the most important lessons in my life - it's easier to simply venture out and identify your friends rather than penetrate a judgmental clique. Nobody has the guts to speak up for you since they themselves want to be accepted (this is the best explanation I could come up with). If there's something called hope, you'll find people who accept you, and even if that number's pretty small compared to the phenomenal number of the 'accepted' group, you'll be happy being yourself with the former.

Past is history. But sometimes, history has a weird way of repeating itself. And I am very averse to be caught in that loop. I give too much credit....to myself! I am smart. Talented. I write well. I can express my thoughts fluently. I dress well. I look...and feel good. I am on my way to pursue my career ambitions. I am loved and accepted by all those who matter most in my life. The prejudiced rest are simply not worth my time.
And this, my friends, remains the fundamental truth of my life.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 2010

Dene waala jab bhi deta.....

...poora chappaD phaaD ke deta......or so goes the song! And that's exactly what I am singing these days.....happily so! I've got not one but two news (or is newses?) in tandem! ~~However, blog pe sirf confirmed news~~. Please cheer your one and only (I hope) beloved blogger publishing two of her blog-entries :D ! (Drum-rolls and trumpets please... !)

TOI Bangalore Mirror published one of my blog entries 'Love and Marriage' in today's issue (15/01/2010). Do check it out on their e-paper here. For the blog version, you could simply scroll down or click here. Or if you love the crinkle of a freshly folded newspaper (with hot steaming tea), go and buy your own copy!

Aaaaah..... grrrrreeeat start to a New Year on Shankranthi festival! Looking forward to inching higher :-)!

HYN everybody!

Addendum: And here's the confirmed news: another blog-post published here but, alas, with the wrong blog address for credit. (No offense Shruthi :-)...)! I've mailed them to rectify the mistake. So dekhenge.......

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 09, 2009

Veg for thought

I have been a vegetarian for as long as I can remember and the main cause being..... you guessed it, my parents were vegetarians! When I started working (and thus came in contact with the professional world), I discovered a very startling fact – vegetarianism was no longer a religion; from something that you HAD to be followed, it had boiled down to something that COULD be followed…..simply put, a choice. For most of my veg (er.... I use this term literally, of course, and NOT figuratively!) colleagues, surreptitiously eating non-veg, away from the omniscient eyes of their elders became a way of life. And going abroad expanded the options for the non-veg fare while at the same time reducing the risk of ‘exposure’.

When I was leaving for UK, the uppermost concern for my extended family (I call them extended because after all, they too have played a major part in my upbringing) was that of food, and specifically vegetarian food, or the lack of it. "You are going all the way to some other country. What would you do for ooTatinDi?" This was the most common question thrown at me. Till date, I cannot recall the answer I gave. All I can remember is being in a tearing hurry to pack all my stuff and then fretting about exceeding the weight limit!

Scotland, UK had a pleasant surprise in store - the place had a few grocery stores in some nooks and corners that sold Indian commodities. Step into that store and it was almost like our pakkada mane grocery store except for the cleanliness part. So you see, the only reason I lost weight abroad was due to stress and not due to lack of food - I still remember (and can almost taste) those booootiful deep-fried veggie burgers! Leep-smacking stuff !

Even though CN, one of my two room-mates was a non-vegetarian, she was so mindful of us (vegetarians) that she did not cook any non-veg stuff at home. Instead, we ended up going to restaurants which served both veg and non-veg food. Back in India, I would have gone to a restaurant which served both veg and non-veg food only because of two reasons: one, I did not find a decent veg restaurant and two, there was some yummy veg specialty which was unique to that restaurant. I had faint trepidations because I had endured some unpleasant situations on the likes of the following.

Imagine you, along with your non-veg friends, are at a popular fast-food joint with mouth-watering burgers on the menu. Imagine that in spite of you ordering a meatless burger, you discover the presence of meat. And imagine if the waiter just whisks off the meat patty and plops down the same burger with the cheery words, “There you go, no meat now.” Would that be acceptable to you?

Here’s another situation: Imagine you go to a multi-cuisine place and order a soup after repeatedly verifying with the lady that it’s vegetarian. Imagine your dismay when you discover pieces of fish in the soup. On enquiry, the lady innocently replies, “But fish is vegetarian, no?”

Imagine one of your friends casually dips a ladle used for spooning a non-vegetarian dish into the one and only vegetarian dish ordered for yours truly. After this, would you consider helping yourself to some more of that veg dish?

One of the fears passed down to me from the upper echelons (aka previous generation) was the lack of hygiene in restaurants which served both veg and non-veg food, “What if they used the same utensils for cooking both varieties of food?” Later on, this among a host of other passed-down fears was conveniently side-lined with the belief that the management respected vegetarians sufficiently to use separate cooking gear, and not mix them up. However, this belief was put to test with the McDonald’s suit. On a personal note, one of my friends who was working part-time at a burger joint to support her education revealed that the same frying pan/grill was used to cook both veg and non-veg stuff! So where does this leave vegetarians? At ‘sea’, strictly sticking to home-made food.

There are times I feel that the whole idea of vegetarianism is skewed with people mutating the meaning to their advantage (and profits!). “Bread contains enzymes that are non-veg.” “What about gelatin in ice-cream?” The more one examines things under the microscope, the more confused one would be. “If chicken comes from egg, there’s no way that egg is vegetarian” says one of my friends who’s been trying to prove that I am, thus, an non vegetarian and ‘licensed’ to eat other non-veg food. It has to be revealed that she’s been trying to coerce me into becoming a non-vegetarian for almost an year now :-). Thankfully, for people like me, the“I-don’t-eat-eggs-directly-but-then-eat-cakes-with-eggs-in-them” variety, this article comes as a welcome relief :-)!

Vegetarianism for me remains a practice, and I am at an age where I can safely vouch for my practices. I like to experiment more with new habits rather than steady practices which have benefited me till date. My friends’ circle consists of mature people who not only respect me but also my choice of vegetarianism, and go out of their way to make me feel comfortable amidst them (aaah….bless these guys!). Belonging to the minority group is definitely a minus point with me being on the tenterhooks all the time in any restaurant that serves both veg and non veg food, or with blokes who don't understand where I from. Yet,I feel confident to proclaim that I am a vegetarian. Are you ;-)?

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2009

TaDaaaaaaaan......

The idea of a photoblog had been in my head for a very long time. Just the effort required to pen it on paper....er.....publish it on web was required. After a few false-starts, I plunged into the details aaaauuunnnnndddddd.... here's the final result. Finally...finally...finally launching my photoblog athttp://chitraazclicks.blogspot.com :-D ! Yiiipppeeeeee yippeeeee and yipppeeeee (I simply cannot stop grinning)! As usual (ahem!), comments and suggestions are very welcome.

After all the effort I put into customizing my photos, wordpress turned out to be a damp squib - I found the photo quality to be faded and washed-out. So came back to blogger, and a plethora of extensive research, photoshopping and html tweaks later, and I was yuxtremely satisfied with the final result (do I sound modest here? :P).

I was very intent on launching my photoblog this year. In spite of a few hiccups (a prolonged seige by the flu being the latest), this year has been a very fruitful year so far.Still awaiting the results of something towardswhich I've been working from a very long time. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best :-)!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 03, 2009

When at a loss of words......

Thanks NS your sweet e-mail. The (ir)responsible introvert I've been (and still am), I am still not very sure how I'm supposed to feel when thanks is conveyed in a manner so effusive as yours. Hmmmmmmmm....er......uh........ duh.......it takes some time to get used to the idea, I guess :-)! Since I'm a woman of few words, all I can do is convey a vaaary public thanks :-)!

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2009

Love and Marriage

Love actually revolves around various couples and the ways they perceive and finally find love…..or something remotely similar. When I sat down to watch this movie, I was not prepared for the intricacy and subtlety of the plot, and of course, the various perceptions of love. At the end, I could have relegated it to another feel-good movie were it not for certain strains of reality and maturity depicted in the movie.

I’ve known love to be a very elusive quality, something very similar to luck. If one needs it, and even wishes for it hard, there’s certainly no genie appearing from the lamp to grant it to you on a platter. At the same time, all I know is if one knows where to find it, one can hold on to it….. forever. And oh, the channels to discover love, so many and varied. Through people, animals, work, a favourite pastime, eating (my personal fav)….. you can add on to the list.

Our very idea of love and romance is so much influenced by movies and books (Mills and Boon anyone?). Love at first sight, the thudding of heart, the shortage breath, and oh….how can I forget the song in the heart (not to mention the song and dance routine around the trees :D)! Makes one go sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. doesn’t they? But(there's always a 'but' at the end of the rainbow)....is love like this?

I’ve met people who’ve claimed to be influenced by all these factors and….and sometimes more :-). Dreamy eyes, lost expressions, countless hours on phone (make that mobile)…. yesssirraaah…. me see-eth all. It’s at this point where the movie ends with “They happily lived ever after” idea. And it’s at this stage that their hunky-dory world is bombarded with the harsh realities of the world around them. What happens later? Aaaah well…. no-one’s shown it…… yet.

I’ve been asked, discreetly of course, by most people - how is it that you marry a person whom you’ve never known more than a couple of months? And I counter-question – how is it that people get divorced in spite of knowing each other for more than a couple of months, and sometimes years together? Ultimately, marriage is a gamble – you enter this legal contract with the intention of making it work, and not knowing that it does have another door of escape called the dreaded D. And what does love have to do with marriage? Well….. if one can learn what love is through commitment, marriage plays a crucial part. For all those shaking your heads knowingly, you know what I’m talking about.

Sharing every thought under the sun , learning things together, exploring, fighting and making up, getting hurt, laughing loud at silly jokes, enjoying the simple pleasures of life,complementing each other, creating and nurturing the miracle of life, and falling in love all over again.....perhaps this is a form of commitment.....perhaps it's here to stay.....perhaps it's called marriage. The turnaround is complete.