VERAX AUDEO
JUST MY RAMBLINGS...SOMETIMES HAPPY...SOMETIMES ANGRY...SOMETIMES MELANCHOLY...SOMETIMES JUST PLAIN RANDOM...
***this is just to keep me from getting into trouble***
the titles of each post are lyrics from songs...so obviously, they're not my own words...and then any words that aren't my own are either quoted and/or given a link to credit the source
the titles of each post are lyrics from songs...so obviously, they're not my own words...and then any words that aren't my own are either quoted and/or given a link to credit the source
WEDNESDAY, JULY 14, 2010
let's waste time chasing cars around our heads I need your grace to remind me to find my own
Of the three cars that have been bought for me since I started driving, I never asked for any of them. The first one I was offered as a gift...and my then stepsister took control of it and promptly wrecked it. The second one, become available and I was asked if I wanted it. Why say "no" to a free car? I had it for a while, till I screwed it up and it needed to be replaced. The third one, obviously, was a replacement for the second car. I almost wish I'd never been given it. I always joke around and say that my car is going to kill me. Or that I wish that it would blow up without me in it. And now...I'm dead serious when I say that my car is a ticking time bomb and is going to kill me. The stupid thing leaks oil from God knows where, mysteriously loses trans fluid over time and recently started leaking gasoline. And of course, being an older vehicle, it does have a few (very minor) cosmetic flaws, that even though I find them embarrassing reminders of my car's age, I can live with and have been living with them.
Anyway, the whole point of this rant/history, is that I need a new car and for the first time in the history of me driving, I asked for help buying a new car. Now, no one will listen to me and just wants to do what s/he thinks is best for me. Never mind the fact that I've done the work myself, found a decent vehicle (it has a Carfax report available!) and under $2k. But everyone is so worried about what's "best" for me, that no one has bothered to listen to what I have to say. And y'know what is the best part of the scenario: I didn't ask if my uncle would buy the car for me, I asked if he would be willing tohelp me buy a new car. Meaning that I didn't expect him to pay for it for me, that I expected to pay him back for whatever he paid for. ::shrug:: If anyone had bothered to listen to me, ask my thoughts, they would have realized that.
I would've been better off applying for a car loan, getting denied and taking the bus.
Anyway, the whole point of this rant/history, is that I need a new car and for the first time in the history of me driving, I asked for help buying a new car. Now, no one will listen to me and just wants to do what s/he thinks is best for me. Never mind the fact that I've done the work myself, found a decent vehicle (it has a Carfax report available!) and under $2k. But everyone is so worried about what's "best" for me, that no one has bothered to listen to what I have to say. And y'know what is the best part of the scenario: I didn't ask if my uncle would buy the car for me, I asked if he would be willing tohelp me buy a new car. Meaning that I didn't expect him to pay for it for me, that I expected to pay him back for whatever he paid for. ::shrug:: If anyone had bothered to listen to me, ask my thoughts, they would have realized that.
I would've been better off applying for a car loan, getting denied and taking the bus.
TUESDAY, MAY 25, 2010
well, who are you? I really wanna know tell me, who are you? 'cause I really wanna know
Hey, followers! Wanna be awesome and leave a comment telling me who you are? It's just that most of you don't have a picture, so I have no clue who you are. And it would be nice to know just who thinks my rambling is even worth listening to. :P
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 14, 2010
noddin' my head like yeah movin' my hips like yeah and I got my hands up they're playin my song I know I'm gonna be ok yeah it's a party in the USA
Woo woo!! I am feeling pretty awesome at the moment! :D Mostly cuz I logged and noticed that I have eight - Eight!! - followers to my blog now. How cool is that?
Yeah, okay, eight is not a lot by any means...but when you're a "nobody" and strangers think you're interesting enough to read the ramblings of yours, then yeah, it's a big deal.
Anyway...that was all. Carry on now...
Yeah, okay, eight is not a lot by any means...but when you're a "nobody" and strangers think you're interesting enough to read the ramblings of yours, then yeah, it's a big deal.
Anyway...that was all. Carry on now...
THURSDAY, MARCH 25, 2010
it's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
::sigh:: Maybe my boyfriend is just as awesome as I think he is. I know that I suck at showing him that I appreciate him and all that he does for me, but I'm trying. And luckily for me, he knows that. I really don't want to go into any detail about what I was talking to him about last night that has me on this 'praise the boyfriend' train of thought...but I love him. :)
Anyway...my real reason for wanting to start this post was that I totally wish that I was living on my own. Too bad, any job interviews I have go nowhere. It's frustrating. Hell, I even decided to look outside of my comfort zone (taking care of kids) to other types of work. I'd be more specific, but I honestly forgot where I've applied and where I've only thought about applying. ::sigh:: After the past few days, I have really been wishing that I was able to live on my own...but of course, now that I need to put gas in my car, I'm broke and need to ask my dad to pay for it. :/ At least I have a car that is relatively good on gas, so one tank takes me pretty far. See? This is why I can't live on my own.
Currently, I'm sitting in class...and as much as I like the topic (Drugs, Behavior and Society...it's a psych course), I'm starting to dislike my teacher. Don't get me wrong, he still seems like a nice guy and a pretty good teacher, I'm just not liking some of his opinions. Oh, well...as long as he continues to make the tests fact-based, I can deal with differing opinions.
Meh...I'm done with this post. Maybe the annoying, know-it-all commenterfrom the last post will find this one and give me another armchair psychoanalysis.
Anyway...my real reason for wanting to start this post was that I totally wish that I was living on my own. Too bad, any job interviews I have go nowhere. It's frustrating. Hell, I even decided to look outside of my comfort zone (taking care of kids) to other types of work. I'd be more specific, but I honestly forgot where I've applied and where I've only thought about applying. ::sigh:: After the past few days, I have really been wishing that I was able to live on my own...but of course, now that I need to put gas in my car, I'm broke and need to ask my dad to pay for it. :/ At least I have a car that is relatively good on gas, so one tank takes me pretty far. See? This is why I can't live on my own.
Currently, I'm sitting in class...and as much as I like the topic (Drugs, Behavior and Society...it's a psych course), I'm starting to dislike my teacher. Don't get me wrong, he still seems like a nice guy and a pretty good teacher, I'm just not liking some of his opinions. Oh, well...as long as he continues to make the tests fact-based, I can deal with differing opinions.
Meh...I'm done with this post. Maybe the annoying, know-it-all commenterfrom the last post will find this one and give me another armchair psychoanalysis.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2010
I've been to the year 3000 not much has changed but they lived underwater and your great-great-great grandaughter Is doing fine (doing fine)
I so very wish that I could see the future. Not all of it either, just a tiny glimpse so that I could know if I'm happy and healthy...and all that good stuff. More realistically, I just want to see how old I live to be. I don't have high expectations for life to be kind to me and let me live a long, eventful life. I expect fate to be cruel and get rid of me in the "prime of my life." I'm just moody and resentful lately. And extremely pissed off at the world. I know how to fix it...it's just that it takes time, and I'm very impatient. Oh, well...
Anyway... In a completely unrelated note, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to drop my bio class. I can't stand the teacher (she's probably a very nice woman, but the view I get of her is condescending and hates her job as a professor) and I don't have the desire/motivation to pass the class with the highest possible grade that I can earn.
Also...completely random, but I noticed today that I have four followers. That's two more than I previously knew about! :) Which means, a couple of random strangers like me!! Yay!!
Anyway... In a completely unrelated note, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to drop my bio class. I can't stand the teacher (she's probably a very nice woman, but the view I get of her is condescending and hates her job as a professor) and I don't have the desire/motivation to pass the class with the highest possible grade that I can earn.
Also...completely random, but I noticed today that I have four followers. That's two more than I previously knew about! :) Which means, a couple of random strangers like me!! Yay!!
MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 2010
this is my temporary home it's not where I belong windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
::sigh:: I honestly don't know how much longer I can do this. My family used to be so close...and now, I have no clue what the hell any of them are doing. I wish that I could just say that it's because the kids are older and on their own...but that's not true. Not even close. Aside from one of my younger siblings, all are still minors (under 18 years old). It's just so f***ing amazing how my mom and stepdad are so readily able to cut off contact with a family member. I mean, I've known that since I was about 14y/o...but honestly, Inever thought that I'd be the next family member that they cut off all contact with. And I'm sorry, but stupid little apps on facebook do not count as contact (sorry, Mom). Only my dad seems to have voluntary contact with me. My grandparents have never been the ones to call me, so I don't count them in my family hatred. The sad thing is...I don't even hate any of my family. I'm just super hurt, upset and confused. And I wish that with every new revelation in my family relationships, it didn't hurt me and stress me out so much. That's the part that I can't keep doing. But...it's partly my fault since I'm mega-hesitant to completely cut my ties to them. I'm just afraid that if I do what they've been doing for almost six months now, that it'll be completely over and never repaired.
I just want to quit everything and disappear. It's not like anyone is going to miss me. Okay, that's a lie...but I know that the few who would miss me, would get over it and in a relatively short period of time, too. ::shrug:: I'm replaceable...it's okay.
I just want to quit everything and disappear. It's not like anyone is going to miss me. Okay, that's a lie...but I know that the few who would miss me, would get over it and in a relatively short period of time, too. ::shrug:: I'm replaceable...it's okay.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2009
and though there are times when I hate you 'cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
How do you learn to trust people when the people you do trust keep hurting you? I don't get it...what is it about me that says, 'hurt me!'? Because there must be something that just screams that. What else is it? My stellar ability to judge people? Ha, that's probably it more than anything else. I keep trusting the wrong people and it just keeps making my majorly huge trust issues worse. And if things continue the way that they have been...I'm not gonna trust anyone at all. I don't want that. I don't want to be broken. I hatecrying. I don't care what anyone says, it is a sign of weakness. I'm just a mess of a person...no wonder people can't stand me.
I don't even know what to say because I don't want to make things worse than they already are. But I so need to vent and get things off my chest so that I'm not holding it all in.
Ugh...I need to do my physics homework...but all I want to do is cry. It sucks.
I don't even know what to say because I don't want to make things worse than they already are. But I so need to vent and get things off my chest so that I'm not holding it all in.
Ugh...I need to do my physics homework...but all I want to do is cry. It sucks.
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
ABOUT ME
- ASHLEY NICOLE
- Hmm...what to say...I am me! I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...but I don't hide much on my blog...again, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
ARCHIVE
FOLLOWERS
To thine own self be true.
Shakespeare
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle
...Laughter is timeless
Imagination has no age
And dreams are forever.
28607
No comments:
Post a Comment